Reasons for My Absence from Social Media

Part 1

Hello, Everyone. I know that it’s been a while since posting much. There is a lot to update on, and explain. With the gravity of what this post will contain, I will be turning the commenting off.

The end of 2022 was full of extreme ups and downs. Just before Thanksgiving, my wife and I found out that she was pregnant. We were elated and hopeful for new blessings and experiences it would bring in 2023. We had recently moved out of Arkansas, not only for her job, but other reasons that I will touch on later in this post. The household (our roommates, my wife, and I) moved from the Airbnb to our rental house shortly after Thanksgiving.

Through doctor visits between Thanksgiving and Christmas, our hopes for the New Year were shattered. At about the nine-week time, the ultrasound showed the fetus was only developed to six weeks growth, with no heartbeat. The Doctor told us not to get our hopes down just yet. There could be a chance the time estimate could have been misjudged. At the next appointment, just days after Christmas, their findings were verified, that my wife’s body had been in the process of miscarrying the pregnancy, this is known as a missed miscarriage when the fetus dies but the body doesn’t reject it. Her body just hadn’t naturally started the process of expelling the fetus.

. Since she should have been at 11-weeks and the fetus had been dead for 4-5 weeks, the Doctor advised that she could wait out and see what her body would do, but since it had been over 4 weeks there was a risk of sepsis. She also advised her of the other options (medicine or a D&C [physical procedure]) and left to allow my wife time to decide. After discussing the pros and cons of each option, my wife decided to take the medication rather than get the procedure.

Before the Doctor administered the meds, she informed my wife that she would have some cramping that over-the-counter meds would be strong enough to mitigate. Unfortunately, she was not being honest and some of her colleagues were shocked that she did not prescribe stronger pain meds. My wife was in so much pain that she was shivering from head to toe. At one point, I was concerned that she may have been close to going into shock. She communicated with me the entire time the process was happening. She told me that she would let me know if it got severe enough for her to be taken to the hospital. The pain had started about four hours after the medication had been administered and lasted for about five hours after they had taken effect.

We went back to the Doctor a few days later for another follow up. The ultrasound showed that the medication had done what it was intended to do. They had kick started my wife’s body into doing what it should have done naturally and avert her from going septic.

This is the main reason as to my distance on social media before the first of the year. With our living situation, we were unable to bury the fetus. On February 10^th, we got matching tattoos with little inflections of ourselves added to the design as a remembrance.

If we had lived in certain states when this happened, it would have likely been a death sentence, or close to one, for my wife, or worse emotional trauma as Doctors, legislatures, and individuals questioning if she did something to cause the miscarriage. The emotional stress the miscarriage put her through was a lot already, having someone scrutinize her actions and accuse her of something like that could have broken her beyond repair. I am ashamed to have this be an issue within the U.S. This nation used to pride itself on being a free nation, yet our Mothers, Spouses, Sisters, Daughters, and Nieces are having those freedoms stripped away. They are being shown through words and actions that a potential for life is more important than their very existence.

Being raised in a Christian household, I am disgusted with the example “Christians” backing these legislations, and more, are setting. God created us to be beings of free will. We are not responsible for the sins of others, only for our own. So, drop your stones, start focusing on that plank in your eye, and stop pointing your fingers and persecuting others like the Pharisees. Christians were called to not judge and love one another as Christ loved us.

If God deems abortion as a sin, then it should be the mother who must answer for that sin. If he does not, and all the deaths due to preventable complications are sins that any legislature or party that supported those laws are guilty of, then how will you answer during your judgment?

You are condemning fellow Human beings to die for a possibility of life. We need to do better to love our neighbor and not hate or judge them. Our nation used to pride itself on being a melting pot of nationalities, backgrounds, and beliefs. In certain ways, we have always looked out for our fellow citizens and done what was right. It’s time we start looking after each other again and stop the finger pointing and persecution. If someone makes a decision that is against your morals and beliefs, it’s not your call to condemn them and force them to follow what you believe to be right. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs and opinions, but no one should be persecuted/prosecuted for choices when it comes to their own life/health.

I will be posting a part two next week explaining other reasons for being absent from social media the last few months.